The vacation shutdown

It has been a whole lot of transformation for me. I mean , if you would have known me at high school, you are sure not to recognise me at college. And so have you. You are no more the same guy or girl that you used to be at school. At this point, you are pretty much an individual, with a hell lot of mood swings to cope up with and loads of tasks at hand that you undoubtedly accomplish well in time. College has been another world for you. With everything all by yourself, you tend to develop a lot of interests and a lot of expectations gather up your way, with you climbing those ladder steps gradually.

I have always learnt that people tend to mature with age and not the other way round unless there is an observation of a bell shaped curve that the maturity level reflects when you reach your eighties probably. However it's the twenties and the thirties that are full of vigour and strength and while you are in your early twenties, you stand strong or rather build up a wall while in those phases where you have thoughts of giving up on life, picking up a hobby that is likely to become your better self and occupy most of your time, may be develop vague ideas in your head to have your own business startup with absolutely no clue on how to proceed with the mere intention of owning one, try working out to look your best since it's the age of attraction and the law of attraction speaks for all then and a thousand teeny weeny struggling ideas creep up your brain, residing there baseless of their existence while you scratch your head in amusement at the ridiculously impossible yarn you have spun yourself into.

There's nothing like impossible. It's called "I 'm possible". Aargh! Your brain stops working when you wake up in the morning. Perhaps it's already lunchtime and you have your brunch, just after you've brushed and then wonder at the hours at which you will pick up the courage to walk through that door to freshen up after a bath. It's vacation time, who cares? Well, everyone does. Mind it. You may not actually comprehend the complexity of the situation but the energy drain makes you so reckless that you actually need that shower, no matter how much you resist. Had you slept in time, woken up early, you would have made much more of your day. You get stressed out when you get dictated on changing or rather regulating your sleep cycle. You know it's going to be the same once you get back to college, so you stop bothering about it. You hate to act in the manner you shrieked last night but it all seems to frustrating to you that you end up quarelling with a friend for no reason while the other one is ready to comfort you and you cry your heart out.

You think you have gone crazy and created a pensive mood. Your parents fear that they might lose you and grow hopeless and depressed thinking about your future. You think about all that stuff you can do and still don't feel like it. Everybody thinks and nobody reacts for the fear of being misunderstood and so you keep to yourself, lay down, stretching that sheet over you, shutting yourself out for time alone and finally go off to sleep with a dream of waking up in time, with not a complaint to hear about you, a happy day with you, utilising your time and energy, and, at the end of the day, making your parents happy because that is what matters.

The movie thought 1: Responsibilities reversed

It has just been a day after I had a start to my summer break this year. Life at college can be quite unpredictable but all of this seems acceptable to me but the uncertainty of events when I reach back home is quite uncanny. It is not that I fail to understand the ambiguity of thought processes of someone of my age, but I certainly am amazed at the viewpoints, we young individuals can come up with, even though the system has been designed to be viewed in a particular direction. It may turn out to actually portray the kaleidoscopic vision of the youth.

Well, I am not interested in giving you a movie review on something I watched recently with my family but I would never miss this opportunity to set forth my viewpoint about that very thing that made me place on my thinking cap, even if I am in my complete vacation mode. So, as I mentioned, the very second day of my arrival from college, I made a plan for a movie night with Mumma and Papa. It all seemed exciting, since I don't get to spend quality time with family, having had come home after four months. 'Piku', a delightful, light hearted movie, that set the audience in the hall, laughing away merrily to the apt script; Kudos to the writers of the script and the cast and crew for a great performance on their part.

However annoying some parents may seem, but they are our parents after all and believe it or not, we, being their kids, are even more stubborn and annoying and that is how we can actually connect with them and cope up with their tantrums when it's time for us to take care of them. That was the message, I actually managed to grab from the movie. We may scream, shout, shriek, argue and our behavior towards people may be harsh and unacceptable but our parents have a full proof way of setting things right. We may find them irritating, we may beg them to leave us alone, but in the end, they are the wise heads we seek advice from, be it any subject.

Time flies and it's really great to see brighter smiles on our parent's faces. They taught us to live life with our head held high and to live for ourselves, but how can we forget them, during the time when they need us the most. We generally lead lives based on what they decide for us, but it is mainly what they find is good enough for things to work out easily for us. I remember telling my mother today, "Mumma! The moment I return to college, I am going to have so much fun this year. I don't want to regret any part of my life, just because I was too afraid to do things my way for once." I can actually imagine her to give me a stern look at this statement, had I thought before I had uttered these words, but she was rather glad to have my approach change fearlessly, over the years I spent away from her at college. So, here's a thought. If she can believe in my adventurous self and let me explore myself and chase my dreams, shouldn't I let her free of my responsibilities and let her live for herself.

I have seen my parents work hard for me to get me all the best possible things in life. I want to make life easier for them. I know, it's easier said than done but I will put in all my efforts to set up those strings of smiles for them, when they reach those milestones, where they want a break, a break from following the societal norms and a break from abiding by those ground rules of being responsible adults. I would be the happiest person to see them feel alive again, from being my parents, I am dependent on, to my cheerful babies, dependent on me, free from those burdensome duties, we ought to perform, without a choice.

The ambiguity of our thoughts...

     I actually fail to understand the way our society works. I remember my mother telling me to express myself at all times and not just when the others demand it. After all, who are they to question us? Who are they to warn us? We are what we chose to be. We are brought up in different backdrops and we believe in our respective individualities. It's something to be proud of, a fact to cherish, but somehow, I feel this is where our society ceases to believe. There are certainly standards which need to be kept in mind, further differentiating the people in unreasonable sections to which they are forced to adhere to, so that they can live their life freely. What's the point if they are already bound to societal norms to live? Where does the freedom standardise itself? I pity the fact that even the word "freedom" cannot stand for itself, so who are we to publicise the openness of our society with such deceitful terms? It just gets better and even more complicated when it comes to such ambiguity, I have to succumb to. The poor thing is that it's not a matter of choice, and I, as an individual, can state that confidently.
     I know the above part is written in a respect that forces us to think in a certain direction, we generally avoid to turn our heads towards. I have seen my friends cringe over petty issues, and envy those who smile away their miseries, in a manner, that suggest their power of overcoming their emotions. They think it is a great way to hide one's emotions because they fear to be laughed upon by the society if they speak their mind. That is where the default operation comes into play. For a fact, I am bound to the society, we are a keen part of, but writing my thoughts so that they may reach the masses, is what satisfies me. I may not reach out to the majority of the jury, willing to coin their comments , regarding any event they come across, but I believe to reach the hearts who care to bother and voice what they feel. Recently, I watched a movie with a quote that stayed with me for long, stating "Pain demands to be felt". Well, it might have touched millions of hearts with a true speculation but I feel that "If what is felt, makes its way to the ones causing that pain, that is where our freedom lies." It is important for people to realise that they hold equal importance in this world, no matter, how long it takes for them to figure out their place.
     They say they have it and you don't. Have you ever wondered what you have that they don't? I hold confidence in the fact that during our blossoming years, we all have our eyes on things, we believe are difficult to capture and kept. Similarly, there are eyes on a lookout for us, who they believe they will never be able to enclose in the web spun by their ambiguous thoughts, entangling them amidst the chaos created by the society, with masses who have faith that they are the masters of time, shutting off their greased minds to the incredible ideologies, we individuals firmly state today with proofs and logic at hand. The time is now and I state here ,the ambiguity of my thoughts, with a  definite point to prove.