Away from college, I didn't ever
realise how much perplexity in emotions it may lead to. It is like staying at
home yet staying away from a place where you had made so many friends and
acquaintances over the year you had spent there. You had thought that this would
be the best time one could have spent,
the time when one gets back to family
and old friends after a long span of months. It is indeed hurtful to find that
your parents can actually catch the boredom in your eyes when you move about
lazily in your own house, wondering about things that have happened in the
past, and whenever you sit beside them you blabber about the events you
experienced in the one year you spent at University. They are glad to see that
you have become matured enough to handle various circumstances having got to
make new friends, having gone through the pain of broken friendships and even
having known how the society has its own ways of dealing with situations.
However, whenever you chat with
friends over the net, the same pangs of the cusp of adolescence and adulthood
come to front when they ask you the questions whether you have been missing
their company or those boring lectures you were happy to be relieved from in
case the Professor was absent. For me, I sit at my computer for hours, not
realising the fact that there are people I need to attend upon, people who have
waited long enough for my arrival back home, the ones who have longed for my
presence so that they could share their thoughts, those small family issues and
those tiny cropped up feelings with me. I didn't realise that sitting for hours
on the net, listening to music or watching television could be bothersome for
them unless I was scolded for it a couple of times. "It is kind of funny
how life can change", I remember those lines from 'The Blues' but then
seems that somehow I can't help it. There is this emotional turmoil in the mind
where there is a phase which asks you to be available to your family back there
but then whenever the phase of having entered the college becomes dominant, one
is reminded of the variety of emotions developed which at times you are
reluctant to share with anyone. You want to connect with your school friends
but then at the same time you can't refrain from staying connected with your
newly made connections at University level. There is a feeling of getting back
to school to see your teachers who have nurtured you well enough to reach your
present position but then the Professors you have been regularly updating your
parents about can't keep you from thinking about your batchmates and those
lectures at college.
Moreover you have the urge as
well as responsibility to find suitable internships and courses you can opt for
in future or perhaps to enhance your present skills. At the same time there are
friends who are always there for your assistance and long for your company at
the time you're there in town and a queue of aspiring juniours who are likely
to look up to you for guidance. So, as for this time period, it is the delicate
balance one has to maintain between both family and college life, coping with
your mood swings in a way such that they prove to be subtle in both cases as
far as your young and rough interaction with batchmates is concerned and your
soft exchange of words with family is taken into consideration.
