The gift of time...

     The moment when one enters college, there's great chaos as to how to manage your schedule. You might be running short of time when the Xerox machines give away and you urgently need a copy of the notes,the nerds of the class managed to scribble down during those boring lectures you bunked or fell asleep, or you might as well have time in hand, when you failed to understand what to do next in the midst of a huge unexplored campus you are living in or which place to go for the right getaway. Life seems a bit too complicated as far as one's management skills are taken into account because it is indeed a a skill to be honed with passing time.
     Fortunately, you will come across people who will actually make you realise that the more you think of how to spend your time, the more you lose on the best parts of life, which could have rather been spent in exploring the true extent of your adventurous self. However, this does not mean that one does not need to have a planned day in hand because then the true essence of living a disciplined life would be lost. All this might seem contradictory in itself but having had led a disciplined life doesn't make you lose on the fun part of life. There certainly are some norms to be followed in our society we are reluctant to be a part of but with time we accept the facts and unknowingly become the better parts of this system. Then, to top it all, there is politics. Growing up within the spheres of this democratic system, we might end up hating this system when we get our facts clear on how people sort out things and set fixes and take meaures for control and quality checks but at a later stage, starting from the University Unions, we become what we despise the most. We learn how to cope up with petty issues we were afraid earlier to even indulge in. Our companionship becomes the better of us because as we grow, we realise that the surrounding we need is mainly what we want our lives to make us and not what the society wants to drench into, i.e. a drain which might be deep enough for us not to be able to even stretch out a hand for help. Hence, we choose a life rather free from filth and even while we walk on the safer side, where we happen to see the greener side of the grass, we turn the tables for ourselves in a manner to assure that the grass is equally green on both the sides.
     Somewhere or the other, where we had kept checks on how to keep the child in us alive and the spirits high in whatever endeavor we take up, we fail to energise our hearts with the love we had awaited for long and when we do chance upon such people, either the time is not right or their lives are too full to the brim with the addictive lot of properties, we fall prey to, in the future, because of our heart broken to the promises of time by the best of companions we made or are made to fall into snares of delusion by those who mask themselves as well wishers along our stressful journey but in reality are the demons in disguise. That is the moment in life, when even I realised to arm myself with an army of people who can talk sense but at the same time, only let a handful come close enough to me to help me make those changes and accept those challenges I have looked forward to for a brighter side.

A new chase with Mentors

     Finally, a year passed by, and I reach the most awaited year of my stay at University. The reason I say this, is because it's a year of cherishing your achievements over the year gone by, learn about relations, rational behavior towards one and all, relishing a feast with those who stood by you through hard times and learn something over this time about overcoming hardships in your life with a face that covers all emotions. It is better to rather be extremely manipulative at times, when the world wants you to be easily available for their services even if, you yourself, haven't yet figured out the easy way to untangle the bundle of nerves you yourself are.

     However, fortunate in oneself, we manage to catch hold of a few happy companions on our journey to conquer the world. That is when I realized that life has its fair play after all. It's just a matter of time and fate and with the right people around, one can be sure of a safe tour to heaven followed by applause and cheers for achieving that height. However wise you might be, a hand to guide you through the three years ahead of you and most probably, even after that, will always be accepted willingly by you. The pain, gone through by those who are way experienced than you, can be avoided by the help rendered from the former. Even if it accounts for the balance between the unlimited fun they had and the efforts put in during sleepless nights for confirmation of a stable future, the senior wizards prove to be a professional at everything they advise the wizards in the making to do.

     A quick glance on what to do next, where to go, which road to take for a quicker approach, are all among the few confusions even I come across and rather than a counselor, one needs a warm friendly tone to cater to your problems in a way you are accustomed to and to whom you can freely consult in any sphere. During my stay, I was lucky enough to get acquainted with the wiser souls who helped me out resolve the mysteries and experience new things on my way to solving these puzzles of my career as well as analyzing the person I am, the prospective I have for my future and what the society demands of me for a healthier and more fruitful life. Masters in their respective fields, it was an enthralling experience for me to get in touch over the past year and learn quite a lot from my seniors at University and it is indeed a new chase for me, for reaching my goals, with the successful mantras I am being fed with, every now and then, by them who can proudly acclaim my win as theirs as for their role play as Mentors.

*First Impression is the *Last Impression

     I used to get amused by this phrase whenever I used to come across it , with my peers and my teachers pointing to me that indeed "First impression is the last impression" while I partially agreed with this fact, nodding my head in agreement to what my Gurus had to say. I remember that during my childhood days, the girl I used to be, the one with her spectacles and braces on, beaming with confidence and trying to keep in pace with the competitive lot of her class, the teachers always took me to be the good girl in the class. Although, much to my amazement, even my Professors in college somehow carry the same idea about me. Moreover the present scenario takes me sans my braces and my spectacles occasionally switched over by my pair of contact lenses.Well, people couldn't end up with this last impression of mine back in those school days.

     However the main reason behind my disagreement to that particular phrase was the gradual changes in mindset that come about while you get to know someone with time.Now this can easily be a part of the group discussion for entry to the top B-schools because the face of it I am talking about doesn't much take into account the first impression only. It can have many angles to view from. It is really a debatable issue because even if a person applies for a job today, a single meeting with that person is supposed to decide whether he is fit for the job or not. It is true that we have become accustomed to this typical selection criteria but to overcome this pain of preparing a mask for yourself  that fits the needs of the employer perfectly as the Jigsaw part can be really troublesome. I remember my teacher stating an example of a woman in sales dressed up in designer outfit while the other dressed up in casual clothing trying to persuade the customer in a similar tone to buy an outfit from their boutique. The customer is more likely to get easily persuaded by the one in designer outfit. This has nothing to do with the visual appeal alone but to the overall first mark impressed upon the customer. Now this is the reason why Indian arranged marriages follow the tradition of matchmaking just by a single meeting with the to be bride and her family while the families leave no trace of filth anywhere so as to get accepted by the groom's family within no time.

     However applicable this phrase might seem in the personal or professional front, a single look at the prescribed medicine by a doctor with a final labelling done upto standard mark by the pharmacist who prepared it is enough for the patient to decide whether the decision to visit the doctor particularly was good or not. This might seem somewhere out of the blue but I just tried to keep it in close proximity with what I am being taught at my University. Nevertheless what one may mask for the other to comprehend is totally the person's will but how the society may accept him just by his mere first impact holds the same stereotype truth where reasons fail to validate themselves.

The emotional turmoil...

     Away from college, I didn't ever realise how much perplexity in emotions it may lead to. It is like staying at home yet staying away from a place where you had made so many friends and acquaintances over the year you had spent there. You had thought that this would be the best  time one could have spent, the time when one  gets back to family and old friends after a long span of months. It is indeed hurtful to find that your parents can actually catch the boredom in your eyes when you move about lazily in your own house, wondering about things that have happened in the past, and whenever you sit beside them you blabber about the events you experienced in the one year you spent at University. They are glad to see that you have become matured enough to handle various circumstances having got to make new friends, having gone through the pain of broken friendships and even having known how the society has its own ways of dealing with situations.

    

     However, whenever you chat with friends over the net, the same pangs of the cusp of adolescence and adulthood come to front when they ask you the questions whether you have been missing their company or those boring lectures you were happy to be relieved from in case the Professor was absent. For me, I sit at my computer for hours, not realising the fact that there are people I need to attend upon, people who have waited long enough for my arrival back home, the ones who have longed for my presence so that they could share their thoughts, those small family issues and those tiny cropped up feelings with me. I didn't realise that sitting for hours on the net, listening to music or watching television could be bothersome for them unless I was scolded for it a couple of times. "It is kind of funny how life can change", I remember those lines from 'The Blues' but then seems that somehow I can't help it. There is this emotional turmoil in the mind where there is a phase which asks you to be available to your family back there but then whenever the phase of having entered the college becomes dominant, one is reminded of the variety of emotions developed which at times you are reluctant to share with anyone. You want to connect with your school friends but then at the same time you can't refrain from staying connected with your newly made connections at University level. There is a feeling of getting back to school to see your teachers who have nurtured you well enough to reach your present position but then the Professors you have been regularly updating your parents about can't keep you from thinking about your batchmates and those lectures at college.

     Moreover you have the urge as well as responsibility to find suitable internships and courses you can opt for in future or perhaps to enhance your present skills. At the same time there are friends who are always there for your assistance and long for your company at the time you're there in town and a queue of aspiring juniours who are likely to look up to you for guidance. So, as for this time period, it is the delicate balance one has to maintain between both family and college life, coping with your mood swings in a way such that they prove to be subtle in both cases as far as your young and rough interaction with batchmates is concerned and your soft exchange of words with family is taken into consideration.

Tailor made...

     There wasn't much I could guess about that evening. It was all the same to me but indeed carried that slight bit of hesitation before I could actually become a part of what I had been longing for. It's been quite a many days since I've entered the university but unfortunately not many encounters with a wholesome lot of senior students. It has been ever since that one actually wonders at the ease with which the senior students move about the college campus, mind themselves...to be more precise, from the point of view of a newcomer seem to be tailor made in terms of their attitude and behavior for such a life.
 
     However when you have actually spent a year living this life, you had aspired to live in school, you tend to understand the crux of it and find out that one gets accustomed to all this within months. Back to where I started from, that evening, was one of a kind, though I didn't realise that at first but then soon enough was made to. It was actually an interview that had been scheduled for that evening, for those who wanted to be a part of one of the most prestigious clubs in the university. Having been busy with my academics and contributions in university fests, I had not much bothered myself to be a part of any of the societies active within the college. So there it went, seated in front of a panel of five , I was being interviewed for this club because of my sudden interest in these activities. The question came like a whiff with not much time given to think about an adequate reply because "Aren't the interviews supposed to judge the spontaneity of an applicant?". Well, having waited for some two hours for my turn, I answered bearing in mind that it is best to maintain the eye contact while I am a part of discussion. Since it was the first society I was being interviewed for, and not to forget that it has almost been a year since I have been in the university, the question of my non-participation in the clubs was bound to arise. I remember being asked very straightforwardly whether I had a "lazy" attitude which prevented me to organise events. To this I had replied back that if it would have been for my lazy attitude I wouldn't have even put in effort in my stage performances and by participation in events being organised, the participants do get an insight of how these organisers work while without participating the organising committee can never get the crux of how stress acts upon a participant.

     However, that twenty minutes long interview could have stretched a bit longer if it would not have been for the in-timing of my hostel. Before I could leave, I was asked to speak a few words in my favour which could perhaps increase the chances of my selection. I did the needful and left. Now that I am in the age of technology, I am prone to make use of social networking sites, sometimes much more often I make use of my textbooks...It was the next day when I was mailed that I had been accepted to the club and soon enough was in tears to find out from one of my seniors who mailed me that I was tailor made for the club and much to my amazement I had impressed him the most out of all the interviews he had taken so far...I thanked him for the compliment and then merely two days later this man who had been tailor made to take interviews was delighted to disclose that he'd taken a hundred interviews so far...
     

Never had I thought...

     Never thought that I'd start with the word "Never" but then there are times when certain things are given a kick start by this simple word which might carry a huge meaning deep there. It was here at University when I actually realised the fact that many people I have met so far have striking resemblance. Yes, I do believe in making opinions of my own about people after I have had a word with them and the university is the best place you come across all kinds, shapes, sizes etc.

     So today there sits someone, I never talk to and I don't bother to talk to but then there are circumstances I have to. It had never been the same before. We were the best of friends. Then at the university you find a personality, in disguise. you find later about the real side of them. You know you are there to study, make friends, have fun, and at the end of it, move on with your life. You are sitting there, holding yourself back to feel the same again. Whenever you meet those people, you want to talk to them the way you used to but then this world never leaves you all by yourself to analyse what situations have become as of now. Even before you can think of making things better something holds you back.

     I will never forget those moments when I was giving second thoughts to all that was making me go crazy about this world I have recently started exploring. Moreover, I was amazed at the fact that I was the one who was taking things so seriously. It was not long after I recovered my senses that as the world believes in moving on, nobody really gives a second thought to whatever has happened in the past. People are too busy to think about the same stuff over again. I had heard that we need to choose our words carefully. I had learnt the moral of "Look before you leap" but then whats out of the mouth once can't be taken back. Thankfully, I am not repenting on my words I have penned down, though there are chances of editing it (thanks to the technology). So now I can claim to be happier while I make my decisions because now I know the key to remain contended with myself after all that I have gone through after I was admitted to the university and thus lies the reason how the past events have made my weaker side, my stronger and more confident side. Well, to end it all, I really had never thought that I would be moulded perfectly according to the circumstances and would turn out to become better in person. Hopefully, this is just the beginning...

The Beginning...

     I seriously could not find anything to start with, other than my personal experience of how I came to front this world. From my point of view, some people would rather find it too philosophical but the truth is that the actual perspective of this world comes into picture exactly from the mind of a newly born adult. I admit that , as for now, it has been seven months since I joined this university, a step towards building my professional front but the true essence of life was sensed in the first few months.

     To start with, there is this whole new feeling of being all by yourself, especially when your parents have always been so protective towards you. At first you are surrounded by this whole bunch of new faces with their own outlook towards life and apparently an aura of pride of being admitted to an renowned institute. Unfortunately, you even come across those unhappy pupils, shaking their heads in repenting modes for not making it to the college of their dreams. Yes, how could I forget that day when I first met my professors, the air about them that made me a bit nervous when they were around. I remember how I had always dreamt of living a life, with a good group to exchange ideas with while we strolled around the streets in our pajamas, singing to the newly released songs we had heard walking by the nearby located coffee shop. Aah! I know this wasn't too much to ask for from life but then the mere pleasure of living the dream filled my heart with joy.

     I still remember that it hardly took me a day to make acquaintances whom I would greet on the way from my room to the hostel mess and back. I was glad to meet people the very first day of my arrival, who had opted for the same course and we didn't hesitate in asking for each other's company when required. Nevertheless, days passed by and gradually the tears of separation from the parents dried. I didn't actually realise when I had come so close to a few people that the whole day long I would be busy chatting with them and all I could talk to my parents, other than my academics, were these friends of mine. Parents are the happiest people on Earth when they find out about your secure company in the new world you have recently become a part of. I still remember my elders warning me about the destructive world waiting out there for me. I had heard from them that before I can sense I would be all burdened with responsibilities I had never asked for but then that is not something you ask for! However, now that I am all by myself, I realise now that there is much beyond what the professors would teach you and that it would not be long that life would give you setbacks at some point of time that it would turn your world upside down before you can realise that everything happened for the better.