How can early child care prevent child abuse and child neglect?

“How I wonder what you are?” Child care can give anyone the chills. You think you are good at multitasking but what happens next is something far beyond our levels of understanding. You think task one to be babysitting, task two gets lined up as doing the laundry, task three holds reserves for paying the bills in time, task four comes straight from your office to finish up that presentation before you get fired and yes there is the food and care of the family members to be attended upon. Hours hence, you find yourself surrounded by squeaky rubber toys and crayon drawings, with a crawling someone, licking porridge off your head, some meal you destroyed when you accidently slipped over one of the fluffy teddy bears on the way greeting you with that threaded smile and eyeing you with beaded glares while you manage to cope with the to do list without the negligence for the baby at your disposal.

You wake up from your nightmare and think over what just happened. That is certainly not how you had planned it out. However babies are a tough task till you have the knowledge of how to handle a knife with hands greased with butter. I am fortunate to have a mother who knew how to do it well. There are arguments and confrontations on a daily basis when it comes to certain families. Mine was one of them. There was a wise decision apparently that my mother took that was to move to a new city when I was barely one and both my parents were working professionals. This decision was taken because I was planned to be raised in a bigger city than the one with my ancestral place which housed twenty members and a city not so good enough for schools where my mother could get me admitted. So here I was, a planned baby with further plans of being admitted to the finest preschool in the new town, where I was at the disposal of a rickshaw driver who dropped me at a crèche everyday where I was taken care of till my mother or father could pick me up on their way back from work.

I loved my childhood. A single child, another home where I had other kids to play with even after school, another mother who loved me dearly in the house, the happy faces I saw later in the evening when Mumma and Papa fetched me home and the contended faces all of us had while we dozed off to fend for another day in our life. I used to wonder at the happy faces when there was a quarrel while all of us stayed back home for weekends. I used to cry out to shut my parents out so that they could attend upon me for no reason, a small effort on my part to make them stop quarrelling. That helped sometimes, however it did not a lot many times. I was afraid at times that if I cry any further, they might end up shouting at me too. It wasn’t just the work that bothered them. Families delve into deeper ends of relationships and get complicated, and for us there were issues about a joint family going nuclear even when the other relatives had done the same for their children.

You will never know who might take undue advantage of you and get things done, especially amidst this chaos in the house. Children are the most vulnerable beings when it comes to getting work done. You bribe them for a sweet and they will slog all day long to see you smile again and offer them a sweet yet again. There is indeed a lot of courage in parents who leave their child to the responsibility of others while they earn the bread to fetch for the kid. I was fortunate to be in the hands of somebody who had a daughter my age, a family who treated me as their own and a home I felt I was always welcomed to. If one asks me, I respond about child care being the one place where the child grows oblivious of all the worries in his life. I counted my numbers, drew and painted, made friends with the crèche owner’s daughter, did my homework, played and learnt to take care of myself even when I got hurt while fooling around in the ground or stepping down the stairs. My parents were proud of me and so was I. I was living my childhood, surrounded by a bunch of people who cared enough for me and with friends who I made memories with.

I heard my parents speak to each other about what impact they might have on me if the present scenario continued as during the weekend scene. The event that turned the tables for our house was the decision to admit me to a crèche. It was just two blocks across the street and the rickshaw driver was someone who had been staying near the house for years. All seemed settled and when my parents were back from work, I became a reason to waiver off all the stress they had. They found more time for me and themselves. Since I was properly taken care of and fed at the crèche, this lead to increase in the happiness I was worrying about. I became independent early enough to differentiate between right and wrong, grew closer to my parents than anticipated, interacted with greater number of people at an early stage, restored peace of mind to my parents and gave them a reason to smile after work and become children again. I can vouch that early child care for me has helped me grow into a responsible and confident individual who can sense her parents smile even today when they return from work to give her a call.

Lean on...

Once I made my steps into the university, I was eager to move out. Now that it is time to move out, I cannot make myself understand why in the first place I wanted a way out of this beautiful place which has given me immense memories to cherish and a bunch of people to make me realise that time does not make you wise, you are responsible for your own changes. You do not want to feel a day older but the memories have turned you moments older and you don't mind going down memory lane again with your friends, whether it is talking about the nasty argument you had with that girl or whether it was the prank gone wrong with one of your professors. 

You may even have had instances of a crush over your junior or senior mates and one of those heartbreaks that changed your life forever. Nevertheless, you look back upon the boy who helped you understand the nuances of a complicated relationship that meant much more than friendship to the girl who made you feel bad in your own skin like those relatives who await your doom so they can blame it all on your parents. You take a stroll down the dust laden streets of the campus and witness the new admits enjoying the string of stories pulled across by the juice vendor, much like a way to attract the students, eager to learn about the forgotten stories of their old professors. 

You chance upon the cobbler by the hostel gate to the innumerable attendants smiling back at you so you could perhaps spare a change or two for them while you had a hard time maintaining that crease less shirt yourself after the placements were over and a dozen of other friends had borrowed it to test their share of luck at the interview sessions when you had gotten through. You miss borrowing a sum from your buddy while your folks at home had no clue where you had spent it all and you miss the thrill of running to the management office to get things done and issues resolved as if you were the Emperor's successor and they would succumb to the pressure of your words. You envy those with the perfect body while the others might envy you for reasons known to you alone.

You hear that playlist over and over again, get bored and yet stick to your routine just for the reasons best known to you and your room mate who knows all your secrets. From hiding calls from your parents to making the  best excuses when you were not around, you owe it to them. Then there will be the cool batch you were fortunate to find since they experienced it all with you and know you inside out. Ever made your folks at home wonder what caused that mood swing? I did and I owe it all to my folks at my home at University. From the pangs of depression to the jitters of getting a new idea to write a new blog to the exhilaration of getting admitted to a new University for further studies, I relied on my buds who blossomed with me every season, no matter how much woes were shed off during Autumn, we sure stuck to our roots.

Now that there is a new river I chose to take a dive in, I know there were many sediments I left by the banks as memories and before I make my way to the ocean of opportunities, I wish to thank the pebbles because they were with me when it all started. I remember throwing pebbles in the water while I was a kid, thinking about when I would grow up and I found them while I swam my way to the river, some hit me and some helped me stay closer to the grounds by burdening me. Today they stand on my way again, reminding me of where I started from and that I had come a long way. I realised then that it was never about the story you write and it never will be. Instead I lean on to the stories that chose me to write down my part in them and make history.

Eleven months...

You probably wondered at the ambiguity of the title you came across while you were lazily scrolling down those social media teasers and you chanced upon one by me after so long. So before you make any other speculations whether I am here to complain about a current breakup, that somehow lasted that long and share a part of my misery with you to feel better, I would rather clear your doubts on how I got here. It has been eleven months past my last post over vacation shutdown and here I am, back with my vigour, yet again during my vacations and this time it will never be a shutdown since I am in my last year of Uni and things are pacing up just with the manner in which I need to keep track of the time as well as my deeds. And what better than writing could help me pour in another glass and soothe me.

A lot has happened past those eleven months I did not keep a track of and how time flies! I was on my way back home after completion of my prefinal year examinations when I realised that the moment I get back, there's so much to be done, some goals to be reached, some calls awaited my confirmation for an affirmative answer to perhaps an entrance exam or a final interview round. There has been a lot going around and a lot to absorb still before I graduate. Before I forget, there has been some wonderful memories down the lane. There were nights when I used to blabber about how I miss home, then came nights where late night texting and drama followed the nights of hysteria. Whatever the time unfolded, I unfolded some hidden aspects of my personality as well apart from realising the truth of life and existence in the society.

Having been a part of the society that we live in, I was undoubtedly made to believe in the strength of communication and favours. I absorbed the truth about friendship; They may be bitter sweet but when the twelfth hour does arrive there are a handful who reach out to you to your rescue. Some turn their backs even when you weep in intense agony, some blink and come to make a difference and turn the tables in your favour and some just pull you down for a reason well suited to their purposes, but all one needs is the constant support from the parents and those handful who stand to support you.

I had no reason in particular to stay away from online blogging for so long but some times your feelings get confined to the walls you yourself build for people to knock down and there was this moment of ecstasy when I returned home for the summers this year when my parents did knock that wall down. It has been a crazy year, not just for me but our great celebrities as well since there is a mushroom gallerina I am sure flooding every media counter you are probably a member of.

Enough of all the dramatic text above, I am sure the year gone by would have proved to be one of great experiences and beholder of so many memories. I wish I could capture and relive every moment whenever I wished to, visit places again and be with my favourite people for months and years to come and attain all the goals I have decided for myself. Never would nod aside to share my thoughts with you since had I done that simultaneously with whatever was going on, all would have been penned down, not in that diary that lay on my bookshelf now, but with the best analyst one can find, the society.

The vacation shutdown

It has been a whole lot of transformation for me. I mean , if you would have known me at high school, you are sure not to recognise me at college. And so have you. You are no more the same guy or girl that you used to be at school. At this point, you are pretty much an individual, with a hell lot of mood swings to cope up with and loads of tasks at hand that you undoubtedly accomplish well in time. College has been another world for you. With everything all by yourself, you tend to develop a lot of interests and a lot of expectations gather up your way, with you climbing those ladder steps gradually.

I have always learnt that people tend to mature with age and not the other way round unless there is an observation of a bell shaped curve that the maturity level reflects when you reach your eighties probably. However it's the twenties and the thirties that are full of vigour and strength and while you are in your early twenties, you stand strong or rather build up a wall while in those phases where you have thoughts of giving up on life, picking up a hobby that is likely to become your better self and occupy most of your time, may be develop vague ideas in your head to have your own business startup with absolutely no clue on how to proceed with the mere intention of owning one, try working out to look your best since it's the age of attraction and the law of attraction speaks for all then and a thousand teeny weeny struggling ideas creep up your brain, residing there baseless of their existence while you scratch your head in amusement at the ridiculously impossible yarn you have spun yourself into.

There's nothing like impossible. It's called "I 'm possible". Aargh! Your brain stops working when you wake up in the morning. Perhaps it's already lunchtime and you have your brunch, just after you've brushed and then wonder at the hours at which you will pick up the courage to walk through that door to freshen up after a bath. It's vacation time, who cares? Well, everyone does. Mind it. You may not actually comprehend the complexity of the situation but the energy drain makes you so reckless that you actually need that shower, no matter how much you resist. Had you slept in time, woken up early, you would have made much more of your day. You get stressed out when you get dictated on changing or rather regulating your sleep cycle. You know it's going to be the same once you get back to college, so you stop bothering about it. You hate to act in the manner you shrieked last night but it all seems to frustrating to you that you end up quarelling with a friend for no reason while the other one is ready to comfort you and you cry your heart out.

You think you have gone crazy and created a pensive mood. Your parents fear that they might lose you and grow hopeless and depressed thinking about your future. You think about all that stuff you can do and still don't feel like it. Everybody thinks and nobody reacts for the fear of being misunderstood and so you keep to yourself, lay down, stretching that sheet over you, shutting yourself out for time alone and finally go off to sleep with a dream of waking up in time, with not a complaint to hear about you, a happy day with you, utilising your time and energy, and, at the end of the day, making your parents happy because that is what matters.

The movie thought 1: Responsibilities reversed

It has just been a day after I had a start to my summer break this year. Life at college can be quite unpredictable but all of this seems acceptable to me but the uncertainty of events when I reach back home is quite uncanny. It is not that I fail to understand the ambiguity of thought processes of someone of my age, but I certainly am amazed at the viewpoints, we young individuals can come up with, even though the system has been designed to be viewed in a particular direction. It may turn out to actually portray the kaleidoscopic vision of the youth.

Well, I am not interested in giving you a movie review on something I watched recently with my family but I would never miss this opportunity to set forth my viewpoint about that very thing that made me place on my thinking cap, even if I am in my complete vacation mode. So, as I mentioned, the very second day of my arrival from college, I made a plan for a movie night with Mumma and Papa. It all seemed exciting, since I don't get to spend quality time with family, having had come home after four months. 'Piku', a delightful, light hearted movie, that set the audience in the hall, laughing away merrily to the apt script; Kudos to the writers of the script and the cast and crew for a great performance on their part.

However annoying some parents may seem, but they are our parents after all and believe it or not, we, being their kids, are even more stubborn and annoying and that is how we can actually connect with them and cope up with their tantrums when it's time for us to take care of them. That was the message, I actually managed to grab from the movie. We may scream, shout, shriek, argue and our behavior towards people may be harsh and unacceptable but our parents have a full proof way of setting things right. We may find them irritating, we may beg them to leave us alone, but in the end, they are the wise heads we seek advice from, be it any subject.

Time flies and it's really great to see brighter smiles on our parent's faces. They taught us to live life with our head held high and to live for ourselves, but how can we forget them, during the time when they need us the most. We generally lead lives based on what they decide for us, but it is mainly what they find is good enough for things to work out easily for us. I remember telling my mother today, "Mumma! The moment I return to college, I am going to have so much fun this year. I don't want to regret any part of my life, just because I was too afraid to do things my way for once." I can actually imagine her to give me a stern look at this statement, had I thought before I had uttered these words, but she was rather glad to have my approach change fearlessly, over the years I spent away from her at college. So, here's a thought. If she can believe in my adventurous self and let me explore myself and chase my dreams, shouldn't I let her free of my responsibilities and let her live for herself.

I have seen my parents work hard for me to get me all the best possible things in life. I want to make life easier for them. I know, it's easier said than done but I will put in all my efforts to set up those strings of smiles for them, when they reach those milestones, where they want a break, a break from following the societal norms and a break from abiding by those ground rules of being responsible adults. I would be the happiest person to see them feel alive again, from being my parents, I am dependent on, to my cheerful babies, dependent on me, free from those burdensome duties, we ought to perform, without a choice.

The ambiguity of our thoughts...

     I actually fail to understand the way our society works. I remember my mother telling me to express myself at all times and not just when the others demand it. After all, who are they to question us? Who are they to warn us? We are what we chose to be. We are brought up in different backdrops and we believe in our respective individualities. It's something to be proud of, a fact to cherish, but somehow, I feel this is where our society ceases to believe. There are certainly standards which need to be kept in mind, further differentiating the people in unreasonable sections to which they are forced to adhere to, so that they can live their life freely. What's the point if they are already bound to societal norms to live? Where does the freedom standardise itself? I pity the fact that even the word "freedom" cannot stand for itself, so who are we to publicise the openness of our society with such deceitful terms? It just gets better and even more complicated when it comes to such ambiguity, I have to succumb to. The poor thing is that it's not a matter of choice, and I, as an individual, can state that confidently.
     I know the above part is written in a respect that forces us to think in a certain direction, we generally avoid to turn our heads towards. I have seen my friends cringe over petty issues, and envy those who smile away their miseries, in a manner, that suggest their power of overcoming their emotions. They think it is a great way to hide one's emotions because they fear to be laughed upon by the society if they speak their mind. That is where the default operation comes into play. For a fact, I am bound to the society, we are a keen part of, but writing my thoughts so that they may reach the masses, is what satisfies me. I may not reach out to the majority of the jury, willing to coin their comments , regarding any event they come across, but I believe to reach the hearts who care to bother and voice what they feel. Recently, I watched a movie with a quote that stayed with me for long, stating "Pain demands to be felt". Well, it might have touched millions of hearts with a true speculation but I feel that "If what is felt, makes its way to the ones causing that pain, that is where our freedom lies." It is important for people to realise that they hold equal importance in this world, no matter, how long it takes for them to figure out their place.
     They say they have it and you don't. Have you ever wondered what you have that they don't? I hold confidence in the fact that during our blossoming years, we all have our eyes on things, we believe are difficult to capture and kept. Similarly, there are eyes on a lookout for us, who they believe they will never be able to enclose in the web spun by their ambiguous thoughts, entangling them amidst the chaos created by the society, with masses who have faith that they are the masters of time, shutting off their greased minds to the incredible ideologies, we individuals firmly state today with proofs and logic at hand. The time is now and I state here ,the ambiguity of my thoughts, with a  definite point to prove.

The gift of time...

     The moment when one enters college, there's great chaos as to how to manage your schedule. You might be running short of time when the Xerox machines give away and you urgently need a copy of the notes,the nerds of the class managed to scribble down during those boring lectures you bunked or fell asleep, or you might as well have time in hand, when you failed to understand what to do next in the midst of a huge unexplored campus you are living in or which place to go for the right getaway. Life seems a bit too complicated as far as one's management skills are taken into account because it is indeed a a skill to be honed with passing time.
     Fortunately, you will come across people who will actually make you realise that the more you think of how to spend your time, the more you lose on the best parts of life, which could have rather been spent in exploring the true extent of your adventurous self. However, this does not mean that one does not need to have a planned day in hand because then the true essence of living a disciplined life would be lost. All this might seem contradictory in itself but having had led a disciplined life doesn't make you lose on the fun part of life. There certainly are some norms to be followed in our society we are reluctant to be a part of but with time we accept the facts and unknowingly become the better parts of this system. Then, to top it all, there is politics. Growing up within the spheres of this democratic system, we might end up hating this system when we get our facts clear on how people sort out things and set fixes and take meaures for control and quality checks but at a later stage, starting from the University Unions, we become what we despise the most. We learn how to cope up with petty issues we were afraid earlier to even indulge in. Our companionship becomes the better of us because as we grow, we realise that the surrounding we need is mainly what we want our lives to make us and not what the society wants to drench into, i.e. a drain which might be deep enough for us not to be able to even stretch out a hand for help. Hence, we choose a life rather free from filth and even while we walk on the safer side, where we happen to see the greener side of the grass, we turn the tables for ourselves in a manner to assure that the grass is equally green on both the sides.
     Somewhere or the other, where we had kept checks on how to keep the child in us alive and the spirits high in whatever endeavor we take up, we fail to energise our hearts with the love we had awaited for long and when we do chance upon such people, either the time is not right or their lives are too full to the brim with the addictive lot of properties, we fall prey to, in the future, because of our heart broken to the promises of time by the best of companions we made or are made to fall into snares of delusion by those who mask themselves as well wishers along our stressful journey but in reality are the demons in disguise. That is the moment in life, when even I realised to arm myself with an army of people who can talk sense but at the same time, only let a handful come close enough to me to help me make those changes and accept those challenges I have looked forward to for a brighter side.